Friday, September 23, 2011


I tried to leave the house today.

It didn't work, for the record. I stood at the frame of the door looking outside for twenty minutes trying to step outside it and I just couldn't. I stayed inside the house. I've been doing this for days, opening the door and trying to leave. It hasn't worked. I'm too afraid of what's out there. Too afraid of what could be.

There was a time when I wasn't afraid of anything. When I was a bad guy, fear was nothing. Probably because I didn't care about other people. I was the only one I had to worry about.

David hurt Dia.

Dia and I had been talking over email. We talked about stories, about truth, about doing good, and sometimes about Minori. She was a friend. And she called me a friend.

He tortured her for it.

I can't really blame David as much as I probably should. I know who he is, why he does what he does. Years of friendship have made me understand him. Although sometimes I think he's changed and I don't know what he's doing, other times he's the David I spent so much time with. That I would laugh and sing and

The past hurts sometimes.

I want to stop him. I want to leave and talk and protect all of the friends that I've made. But I can't leave. I'm too afraid.

I'm nothing like this.


  1. I'm so sorry. Don't stop trying. You're strong enough for this, I know you are.

  2. David is quite the enigma isn't he. You can know him forever yet he still manages to do something that surprises.

    Haha He's alot like my father, knew him for eight years, He was the nicest most gentlest teddy bear I had ever known, yet that didn't stop him from blowing my mom's brain out and then doing the same to himself.

    Still, have you tried closing your eyes?

  3. Still your friend. Don't give up, lovely.

  4. So, for the record... why DID he want to torture her? It seems like a rather insignificant reason to kidnap and mutilate someone.